STOP MESSAGING ME!
by Sulfuric Requiem
Summary: Our favorite ninjas have been taken over... by the internet! EVERYONE HAS AN AIM ADDRESS! Ever wanted to know what they talk about in private? Now you'll know..... Rated for language and adult content. Yaoi is imminent.
1. Sasuke's Online

STOP MESSAGING ME!

I don't own Naruto OR AIM! Yaoi imminent, please enjoy.

-FireFox9 has logged _online_-

-CrimsonAssault has logged _online_-

**FireFox9: **... Sasuke...

**CrimsonAssault:** Hey. What's up, teme?

**FireFox9: **When did you get a computer?!

**CrimsonAssault: **Orochimaru bought it for me.

**FireFox9: **Wha... Orochimaru gives gifts?!

**CrimsonAssault: **It was for me being a great... 'servant'.

**FireFox9: **Servant? OH GOD! YOU HAD SEX WITH OROCHIMARU!?

**FireFox9:** WHY, SASUKE?!

**CrimsonAssault:** ...no...

**CrimsonAssault: **Though with his tongue, he'd be really good at..

**CrimsonAssault: **Y'know, putting it on someone's-

**FireFox9: **STOP! PLEASE!

**FireFox9: **It was bad enough seeing Itachi KISS you!

**FireFox9: **I don't know how much my little heart can take!

**FireFox9: **Just stop crushing it, already!

**FireFox9: **I mean, the time we accidentally kissed... I felt... good...

**FireFox9: **AAGH! I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TYPE THAT! CLEAR THE IM!

**CrimsonAssault: **...

**CrimsonAssault: **Naruto... do you... have feelings for me?

**FireFox9: **asdfhjsdf;fdfhjlkfdsfflrg

**FireFox9: **...

**CrimsonAssault: **I'll take that as a yes.

**CrimsonAssault: **Let's be serious for a moment, teme. Do you... want me?

**FireFox9: **oO!

**FireFox9: **Um...um...

**FireFox9: **I...don't understand the question...

**CrimsonAssault: **sigh

**CrimsonAssault: **Do you...

**CrimsonAssault:** Want to...

-CrimsonAssault has _**signed off. **_All messages will be received upon their logging back in.-

**FireFox9: **Sasuke?!

**FireFox9: **SASUKE?!

**FireFox9: **FUCK!

-FireFox9 is _**away**_-


	2. Itachi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or AIM!

-CrimsonAssault is _**online**__- _

-FireFox9 is **back**-

**CrimsonAssault: **Teme. What did you want? You screamed my name over the IM about three times.

**FireFox9:** I...you...

**CrimsonAssault: **I...you... what?!

**FireFox9:** What were you gonna say before you randomly logged off?!

**CrimsonAssault: **...

**CrimsonAssault: **I have no idea what you're talking about.

**FireFox9:** ...

**FireFox9: **STOP PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS!

**FireFox9:** What the HELL were you going to say?!

**CrimsonAssault: **Hold on, I have something for you...

**FireFox9:** Wha? Something for me?

**FireFox9:** Yeah right... what can you give me offline?!

_**-CrimsonAssault has sent you a file. Open it?-**_

**FireFox9: **Wha...what is this?

**CrimsonAssault: **Just open it, teme.

**FireFox9: **Is this a virus?!

**FireFox9:** I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT THIS IS!

**CrimsonAssault: **A picture.

**FireFox9: **...

**FireFox9: **A picture?

**FireFox9:** A picture of what?

**CrimsonAssault: **Just click on it...

**FireFox9: **FINE... _BRB_.

-FireFox9's status is, _**Bracing Myself for Impact**_-

-**xXCrimsonAssassinXx **has logged _**online**_-

**CrimsonAssault:** ITACHI

**CrimsonAssault: **You fool...

**CrimsonAssault: **How dare you IM me...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **...Sasuke.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **It was you who IM'ed me.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Baka.

**CrimsonAssault: **DON'T CORRECT ME!

**CrimsonAssault: **TEME! 

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **So Sasuke, tell me. How is it, being Orochimaru's manslave?

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Must be exhilarating.

**CrimsonAssault:** o.O

**CrimsonAssault:** Stop starting shit.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx:** I just tell it how my sharingan sees it.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx**: I hope you use condoms...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **You're my brother and all, and usually I'm all up for your demise...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **But being ass-raped by Orochimaru on a daily basis is just asking for

an STD.

**CrimsonAssault: **YES, WE USE CONDOMS!!!

**CrimsonAssault: **... I mean... I don't have sex. I'm abstinent.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **lmfao

**CrimsonAssault: **You make me sick...

**CrimsonAssault: **Oh, wait, hold on. Naruto is IM'ing me.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Patch me through, make a chatroom.

**CrimsonAssault:** FINE, HOLD ON...

-**CrimsonAssault** has invited the following to Chat.. _**FireFox9, xXCrimsonAssassinXx**_-

**FireFox9**: ...

**FireFox9:** I... you... it...

**CrimsonAssault**: I'm guessing you liked it. Think of it as a, 'late night remembrance'.

**FireFox9:** You were naked... and sweaty...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Fornication, Sasuke?

**CrimsonAssault: **SHUT UP, YOU...

**FireFox9: **Sasuke...

**FireFox9: **Is that...

**FireFox9: **..._.Itachi_?

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Hello.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx:** It's been a long time, hasn't it, Naruto-kun...

**CrimsonAssault:** ...Naruto-_kun_? Affection?!

**FireFox9:** Sasuke...It's not what you think...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **_Isn't it_, Naruto? It's exactly what he thinks...

**CrimsonAssault: **Why don't you explain...

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Of course I will, dear brother...

**FireFox9: **NO! DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **It was easy. Naruto was trapped in my technique... so many of me,

and one poor, tight Naruto...

**FireFox9: **NO! STOP!

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **The only difference was, he wasn't facing me while he was on the

cross... so much _**penetration**_ from the end of my sword...

-FireFox9 has _signed out_-

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx:** Aw. He fled...

**CrimsonAssault: **You're not a nice person.

**xXCrimsonAssassinXx: **Have I ever been?

**CrimsonAssault: **...

**CrimsonAssault:** Good point.

-xXCrimsonAssassinXx has _signed out_-

**CrimsonAssault**: _Teme_.

-CrimsonAssault has _signed out_-


	3. Girls Gossip

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto OR Aim!

-**PinkMedicNinja **has entered chat-

-**BlondBabe** has entered chat-

-**MustLoveKitsune** has entered chat-

-**WeaponMaster07** has entered chat-

-**FanmePlease** has entered chat-

**BlondBabe: **Ok, ladies. Welcome to Gossip Chat.

**MustLoveKitsune:** ...I'm not so sure we should be doing this, Ino-san...

**BlondBabe:** If you're going to be a baby, then leave.

**PinkMedicNinja: **Stop being such a PIG, Ino!

**BlondBabe:** Billboard Brow!

**PinkMedicNinja: **You blond whore!

**BlondBabe: **o.o...Sakura...

**PinkMedicNinja: **OMIGOSH!!!! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO...

**FanmePlease: **Look. I came here for gossip. So are we gonna talk, or what?!

**WeaponMaster07: **I agree with Temari. Let's get this rolling.

**BlondBabe: **... fine... Hinata, will you be ok?

**MustLoveKitsune: **... yes, I'll be fine.

**WeaponMaster07:** Then let's start. Who's first on our gossip list?!

**FanmePlease:** Let's start with Naruto, that blond haired menace.

**MustLoveKitsune:** Na...Naruto-san...

**PinkMedicNinja: **It'll be alright, Hinata... I promise! No harm will come t Naruto's name!

**MustLoveKitsune: **Oh...ok... I was kinda worried when she said...

**BlondBabe: **I heard Naruto's gay.

**MustLoveKitsune: **...?!?!?!

**PinkMedicNinja: **INO?!

**BlondBabe: **It's the truth! I heard he likes it from behind!

**MustLoveKitsune: **Oh..My.. God... Naruto can't be gay... it's not true!

**MustLoveKitsune:** It CAN'T be true!

**MustLoveKitsune: **I have all these pictures and stuff!!!

**FanmePlease: **Oh wow... maybe... tonight isn't a good night to say the other half of that

comment, Ino...

**MustLoveKitsune: **Other half?

**WeaponMaster07: **Nothing, Hinata... we don't want to upset you further...

**MustLoveKitsune: **UPSET ME FURTHER?!

**MustLoveKitsune: **THE MAN BOY THING I LOVE IS GAY!

**BlondBabe: **Well.. I guess it wouldn't help to say WHO Naruto has been shacking up with...

**PinkMedicNinja: **I'm in shock...

**PinkMedicNinja: **Please don't be Sasuke...

**BlondBabe: **Don't worry, I'd be pissed off if it were Sasuke.

**PinkMedicNinja: **Oh THANK GOD...

**BlondBabe: **You seriously don't know who it is?

**MustLoveKistune: **Who... is it...

**WeaponMaster07: **Now Hinata... you seem to be paced... relax...

**MustLoveKitsune: **I'm fine, Tenten... nothing can hurt me now that I've overcame that...

certainly he's bisexual, so I might have a chance...

**WeaponMaster07: **Yeah, there's always a chance!

**PinkMedicNinja: **Ino... is it who I think it is?

**BlondBabe: **Maybe... who do you think it is?

**PinkMedicNinja: **I can't say... without hurting Hinata's feelings...

**BlondBabe: **It begins with an N...

**WeaponMaster07:** Please don't...

**FanmePlease: **ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IT'S NEJI?!

**BlondBabe: **Exactly.

**MustLoveKitsune: **asddfsgfburehngoivedgubhrgghranpcruiewdsdfgfvgflurg

**MustLoveKitsune: **Neji...

**MustLoveKitsune:** NEJI-SAMA IS GAY?!

**MustLoveKitsune:** NEJI-SAMA IS MESSING AROUND WITH NARUTO?!?!

**MustLoveKitsune:** I POURED MY HEART TO HIM ABOUT NARUTO JUST

YESTERDAY!!!!

**FanmePlease:** How'd did that go?

**MustLoveKitsune:** He totally blew me off...

**PinkMedicNinja:** Poor Hinata...

**MustLoveKitsune: **How long did all of you know about this, knowing I loved Naruto?!

**PinkMedicNinja: **... I haven't known long...

**BlondBabe: **I've known for a while.

**FanmePlease:** I don't' even live there, and I know.

**WeaponMaster07: **... I've known, because I was the one who taped it...

**MustLoveKitsune: **TAPED?! TAPED WHAT?!

**WeaponMaster07: **I've already said too much...

**MustLoveKitsune: **I WILL KILL A BITCH IN THIS ROOM!

**PinkMedicNinja:** o.o! Hinata! Calm down!

**BlondBabe: **Yeah, please calm down! It isn't worth getting angry over! The porno with Neji

and Naruto wasn't even all that good!

**MustLoveKitsune: **PORNO?! NEJI HAD SEX WITH NARUTO?!

**BlondBabe: **...

**PinkMedicNinja:** INO!!

**WeaponMaster07: **WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

**MustLoveKitsune: **...

**MustLoveKitsune:** I'm going to go into my room and eat a whole lot of almonds...

**PinkMedicNinja: **...almonds?

**MustLoveKitsune: **I'M ALLERGIC TO ALMONDS! I'm going to go and kill myself!!!!!!

**MustLoveKitsune:** Oh, and I'll see you all tomorrow... I think I'll just cry instead...

-MustLoveKitsune has _signed out_.-

**BlondBabe:** Well... that was... fun...

**BlondBabe:** Meeting adjourned... hey Tenten... why did you tape their sex?!

**WeaponMaster07:** ...

-_**Chat empty**_-


End file.
